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Hunt seat can be a type of English riding and was originated in England towards the sport of fox hunting. Hunt seat right now requires a scaled-down saddle than the western discipline as well as the rider holds the two reins within the hand. This is the discipline in your case if you will be considering indicate jumping,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], possibly in hunter lessons or even the far more quickly-paced jumper courses. You'll find several distinct breeds of horses that can be ridden within this English discipline,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but probably the most popular are thoroughbreds and warmbloods.
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Western
Horseback riding is a single with the most pleasurable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], rewarding encounters that folks of all ages and backgrounds can love. Currently being all around horses is actually satisfying for many people as they get to construct relationships using the animal they experience. Not just is it fun, but riders also reach enjoy the outdoors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], get physical exercise and knowledge much better steadiness and coordination from riding. Should you or your little one is serious about mastering to experience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the initial issue you can must make a decision on is which sort of discipline interests you. Listed below are probably the most well-liked sorts of horseback riding.
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Hunt Seat
Dressage
You're almost certainly most familiar with this fashion of riding as it's how the cowboys in movies trip. The cowboys of your Wild West popularized western riding as they traveled across the desert,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], herding cattle and riding into little cow towns. This discipline makes use of a big saddle having a horn (or pommel) to the front and a large comfortable seat that would make this type of riding best for lengthy trail rides. In addition to path riding, there are numerous diverse varieties of Western riding which include barrel racing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], western enjoyment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], reining,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], roping and cutting. A well-liked breed for western riding would be the American Quarter Horse.
If, following looking at these three well-known disciplines you're going to be nonetheless unsure which path to go, you might think about taking a couple standard lessons in each. This fashion you may get a feeling of how the distinct equipment feels in addition as what kind of riding appeals to you most. Don't forget to go ready, and have the right boots and helmet prior to your lesson if they are really not presently presented for you.
Dressage is yet another type of English riding,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but would not contain jumping whatsoever. Instead,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with dressage the horse performs a series of complicated maneuvers within the ground determined by how the rider communicates with their aids (legs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fingers and bodyweight). You will find quite a few diverse amounts of dressage, with the best amounts being highly aggressive and extremely specialized. Essentially the most popular breed for dressage will be the warmblood.
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The analysis showed that women’s age at marriage, which affects the age of pregnancy, rose from 24.9 years in 1990 to 28.1 in 2007, and women gave birth to an average of 1.26 babies in 2007, down from two in 1980.

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One reason that many people have so much difficulty losing weight is that metabolic factors appear to play an important role in obesity. In fact, a good case can be made that obesity is most often not an eating disorder but rather a metabolic disorder. Metabolism refers to the physiological process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including the production of energy from nutrients that take place within an organism. Just as cars differ in their fuel efficiency, so do people. Rose and William studied pairs of people who were matched for weight, height, age and activity. Some of these matched pairs differed by a factor of two in the number of calories they eat each day. People with an efficient metabolism have calories left over to deposit in the long term nutrient reservoir; thus, they have difficulty keeping the reservoir from growing. In contract,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people with an inefficient metabolism can eat large meals without getting fat. Thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a fuel efficient automobile is desirable; a fuel efficient body runs the risk of becoming obese.
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Most of us have both experienced ‘indirect communication’ and/or have practiced it,’ That’s one form of ‘indirect communication’ most often engaged in by co-workers trying to gain a competitive advantage with a boss by dragging someone down. I need them both in order to carry out different facets of my business. Frederic Chopin, Pick your side. Choose who you are.
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Many people probably would not consider The Great Gatsby to be the Great American Novel, Author's Bio: financial authority have point out that the liquidity of money will be fine in share markets and also in the central banks.相关的主题文章:

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Article first published on Head Start PBS Author's Bio: I have come to the conclusion that most people aren’t really quite sure what happiness actually means As an adult you pay almost no attention to your senses at all – instead
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"Do not go where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail "
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Some activities just have no real value, To be a published writer is one of the most rewarding occupations and pastimes - both financially and creatively. What would you like to achieve in the future?

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Your weight problem is not an accident. All of your diet and exercise attempts fail as soon as you stop working them precisely because neither diet nor exercise programs address the underlying cause, and that cause is based in how you feel about yourself. Either you want to punish yourself or protect yourself, so let us look at each.
Author's Bio:
Protecting yourself is the other emotional motivation that causes great weight gain. You have been deeply hurt. Your fat cells form a protective barrier between you and the outside world to stop you from being hurt again. But it doesn't work, because you are still carrying all that hurt around with you, stored inside those fat cells. And again, the real cure is forgiveness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but in this case,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to forgive the people who hurt you. Once you deal directly with all the underlying hurt you feel by forgiving them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will safely, steadily lose weight exactly because your need for protection will be gone.
One hundred percent forgiveness may not be possible for you at first,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that is fine. Not to worry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because you can start with a small percentage of forgiveness and work up. How about forgiving them ten percent? Twenty? Eighty? Even five percent forgiveness is an excellent step in the right direction. There is no reason you should continue suffering for actions that were not your fault.
You may well find that you have suffered way too long and way too much already. And often those hurtful people have been gone from your life for years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so you no longer need to be protected from them. So let the suffering stop right now. Forgive them.
You may well find that you have indeed punished yourself way too much and it is time to grant yourself a full pardon. Forgive does not mean forget, it means accepting responsibility, then moving on with your life in a positive way, having learned your lesson. You cannot change the past. You can, however, change the way you feel about it. You can take your power back from the past and stop letting the past hurt you. You can stop spinning over how life used to be and get on with creating the good life you have always deserved. So forgive yourself. Today. Right now.
Ask yourself these questions: What was my crime? How long ago did I do that? Am I still doing it? If I had gone to prison for it, would I be out by now? Have I punished myself long enough? Has there been in fact way too much punishment already?
In my years of helping people lose weight by addressing the underlying causes, my consistent finding is that obesity is an emotional issue. And only forgivness heals the guilt and the hurt. Hypnosis allows the process of forgiving to work more quickly and throughly. This results in safe, permanent weight loss. And that is what you want.
Forgiveness does not mean that you let anyone off the hook,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it means that your present happiness is more important to you than your past suffering. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful things done to you, it means that you reclaim your right to run your own life. So long as you do not forgive, those hurtful things are running your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and how is that working for you? The people who hurt you may have ruined your yesterdays,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but only you are in charge of your tomorrows.
By Michelle Beaudry
See all Articles by Michelle BeaudrySee Michelle Beaudry's Expert PageGet Updates on Fat LossGet Updates on Michelle Beaudry Average: 5 Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote) Tweet
Punishing yourself means that your fat cells carry guilt over things you did in the past,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], either to yourself or to others, and the real cure is self forgiveness. You are an emotional being, so once you address your underlying guilt by forgiving yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your need to punish yourself with obesity will be gone. Permanently. This leads to safe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], steady weight loss as your emotions normalize.
Ask yourself these questions: What was done to me? How long ago did all that happen? Are those hurtful people still in my life? Do I still need to be protected from them? Why should I continue to suffer for what they did? If it was not my fault, why am I paying for it?
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recently from the general office of Shandong provincial government to understand, the province issued policy, given the initial period of small and micro enterprises a number of tax policy support.

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Are you doomed to a breakup?

If you find yourself in a relationship where you find yourself constantly arguing and fighting with your partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you're not the only one.
A relationship counselor or even a sex therapist can help teach you the tools you need to be able to handle arguments and fights without taking it overboard. Your relationship is certainly not doomed and with a little effort,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you and your partner will once again find that place where you both get along great and truly enjoy each other's company. It won't happen right away, but anything that is worthwhile takes a little time and hard work to get what you want.
Another thing you must realize is that couples argue. Married couples argue, new couples argue, old couples argue. It's seemingly a way of life among people who have significant others.
- Matt, Kansas City
The question, does it have to be over?
This is generally what drives people to argue and fight. It starts out pretty innocently. Someone does something that the other partner doesn't like and it hurts their feelings.
That's something you have to learn for yourself and your partner has to learn the same about you. It takes time to learn how to communicate with your partner effectively and to get your needs, wants and upsets across to them without starting an all out war.
The Relationship Is Not Doomed Unless You Let It Be
The important thing is that you and your partner do work out the issue and not just put it to bed and try to ignore it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because if you do that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the issue will come up again.
Don't be shy about getting help if you truly need it. Many partners who really do love each other find themselves unable to break out of the argument cycle and let it get the best of them. If you and your partner want to make it work but find yourselves unable to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't be afraid to get help from an unbiased third party.
Communication skills between partners are not something you get right away as soon as you start dating someone. Sadly, there's no handbook that tells you how to communicate with this particular partner and how they're different from everyone else you've dated.
They speak out, but it soon turns into something to the effect of,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "Well, I did that because you did this," so on and so forth. It becomes about placing blame and proving who was right and who was wrong. If you begin to recognize this pattern of arguing, you can learn to move past it. It will take a joint effort, but it also takes two people to argue in the first place.
You're also not alone if you genuinely love this person and want to make the relationship work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Getting Help
We have been on and off,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because of this pattern. We are both tired of fighting, arguing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], etc. WE got along so great once upon a time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we some how had a miss-fire that has never got fixed, I don’t understand.
You and your partner's ability to move past the arguments and let them go is really what determines whether your relationship is doomed or not. You can have an argument and if you're able to work out the issue and move past it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you're in a better position than many people in your same situation.
Communication Skills
Dear Dan and Jennifer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Realize That No One Has To Be Right
The root of all evil is money . . . actually, it's the ego. A person's ego trumps all other things and it has a need to be right all the time.
Not necessarily...
By Dan and Jennifer
See all Articles by Dan And JenniferSee Dan And Jennifer's Expert PageGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on Dan And Jennifer Average: 5 Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote) Tweet
Author's Bio:
My girlfriend (ex?) and I fight all the time!! When we are not fighting we get along great! Everything will be fine, then BAM, full blow verbal warfare.
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Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work.

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The moon is high,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a tan Qing Hong hidden in my heart,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
mirrored the flowers of evil,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sense of guilt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
I'm in town, the mother in the mountains!
nicknames in the city is ill,
scrambled along the false cords,
endless wandering, endless search for,
find her pure,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], warm milk,
I in the city,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the mother in the mountains!
humble text in the city of tears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
the devil in the corner to look right and left,
Yin deep horror nowhere to flee,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
miss that nagging,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that is full of cocoons hand,
the hug, that figure,
while I'm in town, the mother in the mountains!
mom took my hands out of the mountains,
now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mother in the mountains,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'm in town,
city that is a mother, is the mountain, is the tears, is the hope,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is missing,
the!
mother in the mountains,
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Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work.

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Beauty without modification
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sincere action
precious friendship Yu Yongheng
the birthday is not the luxury of surface
once a year
spring summer autumn winter
remember their
don't forget you keep your life
-- parents
blessing from afar
gift but some shy
forget you peal of laughter
forget you bluntly said
in the Qing Li comfortable days
I quietly waiting
the red sun rises in the East
in my heart
for you
is the first rays of the morning sun
I wish you a happy birthday
hope I can be a blessing to bring you
-- endless joy相关的主题文章：

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Xie Changting responded to media inquiries emphasize, want to see Chen Shuibian speech context, Chen Shuibian is about "legislators" election, as a coach to do, deliberately to "how to be president" election, omitted.

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I love to play into the package
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square
square four
storage in your heart of a corner
no matter how put
is dignified and imposing stand
please don't open
feel that hot
a lifetime
so attentive
I love to play into the package
round
round round
storage in your heart of a corner
no matter how put
are as clear as the moonPlease be assured of
taste that harvest
this for a lifetime
love is not a legend
I love to play into the package
long
enduring as the universe
storage in your heart of a corner
don't know how to put
will link you and me
please share
love that joy
next lifetime
still blossom fruit
in 2012.8.4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], XX.28 p.m.相关的主题文章：

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Xie Changting responded to media inquiries emphasize, want to see Chen Shuibian speech context, Chen Shuibian is about "legislators" election, as a coach to do, deliberately to "how to be president" election, omitted.

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"Families That Play Together,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Stay Together"
Visit to find fun and interesting information on creating a Family Game Room in your home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Of course not every moment was perfect. We had our fights. Sometimes they were HUGE FIGHTS! But usually by the following weekend things were back to normal and we'd play together all night once again. On many nights we had to swallow our pride!
Author's Bio:
The games were all bought second hand and didn't work when my parents acquired them. Luckily my dad and a few of my brothers could fix them. That's how we ended up with pinball games, a jukebox and an old bowling machine in our basement. Those were some of the best times in my life. Playing pool and games with my brothers and sisters into the early hours of the next morning.
All of those experiences made us become closer as a family. We learned how to deal with the different personalities of each family member and it's kept us close to this day. No a home game room won't solve every problem in the world. And it may not work for every family. But I firmly believe that "Families That Play Together, Stay Together". That is coming from my own life experience.
Those games taught us many life lessons right in our own home. They taught us about winning and losing graciously. Although tempers flared at times someone would step in and remind us that it's just a game. We learned that cheating was wrong, especially with so many siblings watching over the games. We were taught to respect adults and that they would play first and we'd get our turn if we waited! Also that helped us to learn patience. There were so many life lessons learned in our game room that I'm probably only touching on a fraction of them.
In closing I'd like to say that "no" my family is nowhere near being the perfect family. We have our problems like every family does. We argue and we disagree on many things but we can still stay close. Somehow having a game room and playing games with family and friends seems to relieve that stress and tension and can make even the biggest of problems go away, at least for the moments we're together anyway! So I'm convinced from my own experiences that:
We had so many great times in that game room with family and friends. On some nights you'd be the winner and others you'd be the loser. It's the same as in life as an adult. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose but you have to keep your head up and try harder the next time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Joe Schmieder
See all Articles submitted by SelfGrowth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].com AdminSee SelfGrowth.com Admin&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on FamilyGet Updates on SelfGrowth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].com Admin Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
When I was young just about every weekend I remember my brothers and sisters who weren't living at home anymore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], visiting. We'd play pool,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pinball,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pachinko, cards and more all the while listening to golden oldies on the jukebox. Before you start thinking we were rich, don't, we were just a large middle class family. My dad worked very hard, often seven days a week and made just enough money to keep a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. My mom worked even harder taking care of us! The home game room functioned on it's own keeping us at home base on most weekend nights!
Home game rooms are good for another reason also. They teach some great skills to children. From the hand-eye coordination from playing pinball to the angles, cut/slice shots and bank shots in pool. Those coordination skills come in handy when you're older and are great to learn as a kid. With pinball you learn how to count numbers and keep score. In billiards alone you learn how to hold a stick, aim and shoot the balls and rack them up afterwards. Also for the youngest of children the pool balls are different colors with different numbers. I've never seen a child who didn't LOVE to sit on a pool table and roll the balls into the pockets. (Just make sure you're watching the child closely so they don't fall off). Every table game is good for learning skills. That includes ping-pong, air hockey, foosball and shuffleboard also. You'd be amazed at what a child can learn by playing those basic but fun table games.
Visit directly get some useful ideas on stopping game room arguments before they start,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It's a good idea to turn off the computer and video game once in a while and play a "real" hands-on game! Invite family and friends over on the weekends. Sure it doesn't have to be every weekend but a couple times a month would be great. Show them your new trick shot. Have some laughs! And maybe a few tears will even be shed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? No matter what happens it's getting family together and sharing experiences what counts. And playing games with family and friends in a fun setting like a home game room is something every family could learn to enjoy!
Growing up my parents made it clear that enjoying time with family was very important! They didn't come out and say it all the time and they didn't need to. They did it with actions and as the saying goes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "Actions Speak Louder Than Words". They did this by turning their basement into a home game room. It was done before I was born and games came and went all in the name of good old fashioned family fun! Now I'm the last of 10 children, 8 boys and 2 girls and I tell you this, our home game room worked wonders in keeping this family close!
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Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work.

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Notes
The pleasure compulsion can be harmless in some people and in others it can jump start the addictive process. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as far as I know, Ingrid Bergman never got in trouble listening to the same song over and over again. However, if you hang around addicts long enough you will hear them talk about how their addiction started when they “used” to manage their painful emotions. “My mother didn’t love me very much and I turned to food,” says the compulsive overeater. “I didn’t make the football team in high school and I kept going out and getting drunk,” says the alcoholic.
5. Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality: Roots,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Rituals and Recovery. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1988.
3. Sigmund Freud. Beyond the Pleasure Principle. Introduction by Peter Gay, James Strachey, editor. W.W. Norton: New York.
I see people with overactive pleasure compulsions grouped into two camps. First of all, there are the addicts who have abused a mood altering experience and can never engage in it again. Bill Wilson puts it this way in the book Alcoholics Anonymous: “Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.”6 Then there are those addicts who can successfully fight the pleasure compulsion and engage in a little of everything without getting hooked on anything in particular. This is where the battle lines are drawn in the world of substance-abuse treatment. There are those who believe you can train yourself to fight the pleasure compulsion through moderation, and then there are those who believe you can never engage in certain mood-altering experiences without risking relapse. Even some 12-Step programs are divided on this issue. In Alcoholics Anonymous any alcohol consumption at all is a relapse, while in Overeaters Anonymous some people believe you have to give up certain “trigger” foods forever and others don’t.
Author's Bio:
Of course, not everyone has the pleasure compulsion. Many people who seek pleasure to dissipate anything from sadness to boredom will move on to other mood-altering experiences—they like variety. Others, however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], like routine. For them, the pleasure compulsion not only exists, it gets out of control. Take the child who is rebuffed by her classmates and eats a cookie to comfort herself. The next morning she wakes up and remembers the pain. She could do a variety of things to distract herself from the sadness (or shame), but for some reason this child remembers how good the cookie tasted and she makes her way to the kitchen. Trauma, pleasure, and repetition become locked. Not just trauma and pleasure; that would not lead to addiction. It is the repetition factor that can change this child’s life forever. If it is strong enough she could end up a food addict.
So why do some people comfort themselves with a variety of experiences and others get locked into a routine of reenacting one or two mood-altering experiences? Can there be a physiological explanation? Many people think so. In his book Emotional Intelligence4 Daniel Goleman discusses at length the relationship between the brain and the repetition compulsion. It’s all in the amygdala he explains. The pleasure principle is probably physiological as well, or it would not be so evident in infants. It is not much of a leap, then, to see the pleasure compulsion as a brain function also.
2. Hyperdictionary.
7. William A. McConochie, “Know Thyself.”
You can see the pleasure compulsion acted out beautifully in the movie Casablanca. Ingrid Bergman is feeling the pain of loss and it makes her feel better to hear a certain piano piece played by Sam. It is the pleasure compulsion which prompts her to wistfully say, “Play it again Sam.”
- Addicts should consider engaging in a variety of healthy activities once they are fully grounded in their support network. Even if they go to a 12-step meeting everyday, they might also consider incorporating outside activities into their lives. Mix it up a bit. Find a hobby, but don’t drop everything to engage in it. Go to the movies one weekend and hiking the next. Fall in love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but don’t neglect your recovery. Do service in a 12-Step program but consider volunteering in other organizations as well.
The Freudians use the term repetition compulsion to describe “the mind’s tendency to repeat traumatic events in order to deal with them.”1 Another Freudian term, the pleasure principle, describes the need of the infant to seek gratification.2 In adults, this would be called the “production of pleasure.”3 So what happens when we combine these concepts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and what shall we call this phenomenon? Well, for lack of a better term, I call it the pleasure compulsion, or the tendency to repeat the same pleasurable experience over and over again in an attempt to ameliorate trauma.
4. Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books: New York, 1995.
- Remember, the pleasure compulsion is nothing to be ashamed of. Whether it is a mental aberration or learned in childhood, it is part of the disease of addiction and having it does not take away from the your value as a human being. Shame undermines the recovery process and only leads to relapse.
By Susan Peabody
See all Articles by Susan PeabodySee Susan Peabody's Expert PageGet Updates on Addiction and RecoveryGet Updates on Susan Peabody Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (1 vote) Tweet
The pleasure compulsion is seductive and it may be linked to the desire for control. There is no trial and error necessary when you are doing something for the second or third time. Whatever worked before is guaranteed to work again—or so we think. Unfortunately, many mood-altering experiences become a magnet for problems. Food lovers get overweight. Heavy drinkers get DUIs. Gamblers lose their pay checks. Then there is the increased tolerance phenomenon. It takes more and more of the experience to get the desired affects—more food, more alcohol, more trips to Reno. This is the nightmare of addiction. The mood-altering experience becomes a problem, but you are hooked.
1. Felluga,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Dino. “Modules on Freud: Transference and Trauma .” Introductory Guide to Critical Theory, Purdue U., 9-5-03. .
- Remember that the pleasure compulsion calls you to act before you think. It robs you of the knowledge that you have a choice. To counter this, addicts should remind themselves constantly of the following (reminders can come in the form of self-talk,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mantras, daily readings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], advice, plaques on the wall of a 12-Step meeting—anything that works): (1) they have a choice even if it does not feel that way; (2) that they can ignore the pleasure compulsion even if it is painful; (3) that they must process desire before it is acted on. (Processing means thinking, discussing, considering the consequences, praying, looking for other options, etc.)
In light of what we now understand about the pleasure compulsion, the following advice might be helpful.
- Addicts should be careful of the hidden dangers inherent in the “addictive personality.” Too much repetition of certain mood-altering experiences can lead to new addictions.
Whatever causes the pleasure compulsion, it is developed by other factors. For instance, if our role-models are addicts, we see routine as the norm and follow their example. Daddy drinks every time he gets sad. His children follow in his footsteps even though they might get addicted to some other kind of experience or substance. In addition, accessibility must be factored in. One of my clients turned to food repetitively because it was the only thing available. Her father was an alcoholic but the liquor was locked up in the basement. She was not allowed to have friends or go out to play. All she could do was eat and read books in her bedroom. Needless to say, today she is a food addict and never leaves the house. “I like to stay home,” she says, “It makes me feel good.” Of course, she also eats too much during those quiet moments alone.
I won’t take sides on this issue of abstinence versus moderation except to say “different strokes for different folks.” We each,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], through trial and error, must find the treatment program that works for us. However, whatever form of treatment an addict seeks, he is well advised to admit he has an overactive pleasure compulsion. Remember: “To know oneself makes for power, self-control and success. Individuals encounter difficulty in life because they do not fully comprehend their abilities, limitations or the full range of their personalities. They need a psychological mirror enabling each person to see the self as it really is, including its strengths, weaknesses, and potentialities.”7 Furthermore, those people who choose to moderate must also be vigilant and make conscientious choices that will protect them against the seductive quality of the pleasure compulsion. Let me put it this way, whether you are a snake handler or walk the other way when you see a dangerous reptile, be careful.
6. Alcoholics Anonymous,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Third Edition. New York, NY: Alcoholics Anonymous World Service, Inc., 1973, p. 31.
The practical implications of understanding the pleasure compulsion are simple. If you treat the pleasure compulsion as well as the addiction, there is less likelihood of relapse. Right now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I see a lot of switch hitting with addicts in recovery. Sober alcoholics turn to food and food addicts turn to cigarettes. This not only makes recovery more complicated, turning to another addiction to satisfy the pleasure compulsion prevents the deep process work that can only take place when an addict is in full recovery from all mood-altering experiences.
Why is it helpful to understand the pleasure compulsion? Well, for one thing, it helps explain why the drug addict, long after he has gone through a physical withdrawal, has a relapse. This is discussed in Craig Nakken’s book The Addictive Personality: Roots, Rituals and Recovery.5 It also makes clear that addicts, with their predisposition to routine, are well advised to substitute a healthy routine for a new one. This is why 12-Step programs are so successful. They replace their negative routines with positive ones. Take my case, for example. I was in therapy for years to analyze why I was an alcoholic and food addict,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but because of the pleasure compulsion I couldn’t stop acting out. Then I got into the routine of going to 12-Step meetings, socializing with my new 12-Step friends, and working the 12 steps (self-improvement). Before I knew it, my self-destructive habits had disappeared. I had replaced bad habits with good habits.
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Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work.